Modern Dating is Trash—But Here’s Why It’s Not You

Modern love in the digital age—disconnected moments in a connected world. A scene inspired by the challenges of dating in 2025. Illustration by ONETEN Magazine.

Ghosting, breadcrumbing, and endless swipes—dating in 2025 feels more like a bad game show than real connection. One minute you’re vibing, the next minute, poof! They vanish like they never existed. But here’s the truth: it’s not always you. The modern dating landscape is a minefield built on fast dopamine hits, algorithm-driven apps, and a culture obsessed with “options.” Lex Noir is here to tell you why modern dating sucks—and how you can survive the chaos with your confidence intact.

If dating apps were a jungle, toxic dating trends would be the predators hiding in plain sight. Let’s start with ghosting—the all-too-common act of disappearing mid-conversation, mid-vibe, or even after a few dates. It’s the ultimate coward move, leaving you questioning what went wrong when the truth is, it’s not about you—it’s about someone lacking the emotional maturity to have an honest conversation.

Then there’s soft dating—this new, frustrating trend where people want the connection without the commitment. Think late-night texts, vague interest, but never any real plans. It’s like they want the benefits of dating while keeping their “freedom” to swipe on 10 other people.

Breadcrumbing is another emotional game. These are the “just enough” people—they send just enough attention or flirty texts to keep you hanging, but never show up when it matters. It’s about control, not connection.

These patterns are exhausting because they create emotional highs and lows that can make even the most confident person feel burned out. But remember, toxic behavior says everything about them—and nothing about your worth.

Social Media’s Role in Warping Real Intimacy

Dating used to mean long phone calls, slow build-ups, and face-to-face connection. Now? It’s about curating the perfect highlight reel on Instagram or trying to get someone’s attention with the right TikTok trend. Social media has turned dating into a competition for likes, comments, and who can post the most “couple goals” aesthetic—even when the relationship is falling apart behind the scenes.

The problem is, authentic connection doesn’t thrive in a filtered world. We’ve become so focused on appearances that we’re losing the art of being real. Online, everyone looks like the “perfect partner”—but behind the screen, many are struggling with commitment, trust, or even just showing up for a simple coffee date.

Worse, dating apps feed this “always another option” mentality. When people can swipe endlessly, relationships start to feel disposable. Why work through a tough moment when you can just swipe right on someone new? It’s quick, easy, and incredibly toxic to building something real.

Empowering Advice – How to Reclaim Your Energy

Here’s the truth: you can’t control how others show up, but you can control your energy, your standards, and your time. If modern dating feels like a circus, it’s time to step off the carousel and rewrite your own rules.

1. Set Boundaries Like a Boss: Stop entertaining people who bring confusion or inconsistency. If someone can’t communicate clearly, they don’t get access to you.

   
   

2. Detox Your Dating Apps: Take breaks from swiping. It’s not about deleting them forever—it’s about reclaiming your mental space so you can focus on real-life connections.

   
   

3. Date With Intention: Stop letting people “breadcrumb” you into situationships. If you want something real, say it and mean it. Anyone who doesn’t align can exit the chat.

   
   

4. Focus on Self-Love First: Confidence and self-awareness are the biggest flexes in dating. When you prioritize yourself, the right energy naturally gravitates toward you.

Remember: modern dating might feel broken, but you don’t have to break with it. It’s about being clear on what you want, unapologetic about your standards, and willing to walk away from anything that doesn’t serve your peace.

Modern dating can feel like a messy reality show with no script and way too many players, but that doesn’t mean you’re the problem. The apps, the ghosting, the endless “options”—they’ve all created a toxic dating culture that thrives on confusion and fast dopamine hits. But real love? Real connection? That’s still out there.

You just need to remember this: you are not disposable. You’re not here to compete for attention or settle for half-hearted energy. Set your own pace, date with intention, and don’t let this chaotic dating scene shake your confidence.

Because at the end of the day, the right person won’t make you question your worth—or leave you guessing.